fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
