I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
