How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
