I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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