Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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