Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I love black thongs
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
