How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
