i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
