In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
