I heard we made out
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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