My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He better not be in your backpack
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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