I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
