She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
