Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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