I should be sponsored by Trojan
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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