so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
