So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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