I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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