Quick, to the slutcave!
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
