Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
