I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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