chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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