This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
