U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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