apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
