so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
