Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
