the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
