So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
