You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
