Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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