There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
