benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
