Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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