my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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