Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
