Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
