I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
