how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
