a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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