They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
