I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
