Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
