I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
