Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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