Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
