Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
