cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
