the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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