He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
do herpes really smell.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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