I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
not ubering you a puppy
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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